This letter (including errors of spelling and grammar) is derived from genuine Freeman on the Land websites and letters. All is true.
Notice to Principle is Notice to Agent. Notice to Agent is Notice to Principle.
Notice to One is Notice to All
© Timothy of the family: Taylor Authorised Representative for
TIMOTHY TAYLORTM and all derivatives thereof
Donner, Blitzen and Rudolf LLP
St Nicholas Street
The North Pole
15th December 2011
Reference Number: LB/SC/30123456
Thank you for your recent contact. I do not understand the contents.
Your demand for mince pies and sherry on behalf of SANTA CLAUS is clearly fraudulent. As lawyers you are surely aware of the following principles of the common law:
1. The uppercase name TIMOTHY TAYLOR on your gift tags is not my name, but a ‘corporate entity’ or straw man. (Blacks Law Dictionary)
2. Your client SANTA CLAUS is a corporation and cannot enter into lawful contracts. The contract is therefore an unlawful contract as it is a unilateral agreement signed only by me. (Contract Law)
3. Your client SANTA CLAUS creates Presents out of thin air – he has no presents to give to children. (Fractional Reserve Gifting)
4. Your client has not provided any consideration under the contract, because the Presents are worthless ‘electronic items’ on computers. (Internet Shopping)
5. I am not lawfully bound to pay anything which is unsigned. (Bills of Exchange Act 1882)
You must therefore provide verification of your claim, including:
- validation of the Presents: the actual accounting;
- a lawful contract with valid consideration for the said mince pies and sherry;
- a hand signed invoice in accordance with Bills of Exchange Act (1882); and
- proof of agency.
You must provide this within ten (10) days from the above date so that I may settle any comestible obligation I might lawfully owe.
Your said failure to provide verification of your claim constitutes your agreement to the following terms: that you are a third party interloper; your claim is fraudulent; elves do not exist; you agree to pay all fee schedules; and that you will no longer pursue this matter any further.
If you sell the alleged liability, and/or appoint my parents to act on your behalf on this matter you will have broken our agreement and you agree to pay the following fee schedule:
- £21000 for dishonouring our agreement;
- £1000 per hour or part of it of authorised representatives time nunc pro tunc;
- £1000 per recorded delivery or any other form of response nunc pro tunc
- £100 per contact by letter or phone payable in advance.
In addition, you and your client SANTA CLAUS have referred to me as Mr Timothy Taylor. I specifically demand that you do not refer to me as Mr or any Title, which is a legal fiction and is not me. Breach of this condition requires you to pay £1000000 for each unauthorised use.
If you have advised your client properly SANTA CLAUS should be aware that it is a common law offence to wilfully attempt to enforce jurisdiction of a man using a legal fiction. Therefore, this amounts to proof of a wilful criminal act.
The only other possibility is that SANTA CLAUS does not exist. If this is the case, then you are attempting to commit fraud on the children of the world.
I therefore demand that this malicious and frivolous activity of exchanging so-called Presents in return for mince pies cease and desist with immediate effect, and that you send me written confirmation of the same along with all of the Presents.
Yours without ill will, frivolity, vexation and malice.
By: Sovereign Timothy of the family:Taylor; living breathing human soul.
No assured value, No liability. Errors & Omissions Excepted. All Rights Reserved.
WITHOUT PREJUDICE – WITHOUT RECOURSE – NON-ASSUMPSIT